Reading your illustrated mariage column, I got thrown back to my own mariage. I had no choice, my wife was killed crossing the road, so there was no choice in doing my lonely walks, not feeling her curled up beside me in our bed, no more warmth, no more fun, no more caring for each other, no living apart together, just apart. Reading it, it suddenly hurt. But I get it and I love the openness in the column. My misery should not be someone else's. Keep shining and sharing.
That's so sad Emiel! I feel your pain. I'm very aware of how lucky I am to still have a living breathing husband who has my back, even when we're apart. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and feelings.
This is such a cute cartoon! Every marriage looks different, and it’s so nice to see the different shades of it rather than one mythical template that’s supposedly been sanctioned by society, and social media now.
Oh how wonderful you are willing to bring this up. This happens more than you think. And no one should look the worse about because you are coming to realize yourself, which is the point of being, right? In my eyes, life is a balance among many things. It looks like you are trying to find that balance in your relationship. In fact I would say you are strengthening your relationship. If you find your new space making you happy, then the World is happier and when you do see or talk to your husband he will sense that and make him happy. Its a paradox, not living with the one you love, becoming who you both are, will be making you love each other much than if you didn't. Keep writing!!!
Voor wat het waard is, ook wettelijk gezien zit het goed. De verplichting tot samenwonen in het oude artikel 1:83 van het Burgerlijk Wetboek (BW) is sinds 2001 afgeschaft. Het is mooi dat dit is wat het is en dat jullie daar allebei vrede mee hebben. 🙌
Dank! Alleen in de stad Amsterdam is het nog verboden om als gehuwden op twee adressen (in A'dam) te wonen... kwamen we door schade en schande achter. Al heb je ruim 20 jaar inschrijftijd!
My partner and I sleep in separate beds. It started because after turning 50 he started snoring like a freight train and I'm a light sleeper. But the truth is, I sleep so much better on my own. He is also a Sailor, so he is away 50% of the time. I do look forward to the day that he can retire and be home more, but we also have really independent lives, and that works really well for us.
Everyone's relationship is different, but I mention these things coz they both took me a while to adjust to, and for the first little while, they both felt a little 'wrong'. But not any more.
Thank you!!! Especially for the bit about adjustment and it feeling 'wrong' at first. I guess we're all culturally conditioned to the picture of two happy spouses in one big bed, sharing every detail of their life. But things can work much better when you each have your own life, too.
This is a wonderful example, thank you for sharing it!
I used to travel a lot and I saw it this way. If a Jungle explorer and an Arctic explorer get married, they dont need to change, they attracted each other because of whom they are and what they love, there are many things they do in their individual explorations, many things they love that might not be a match, but there is this other important thing they want to do, spending time with someone special. So I see marriage as an intersection of two lives, two dreams, and its a wonderful thing to have (and explore).
Reading your illustrated mariage column, I got thrown back to my own mariage. I had no choice, my wife was killed crossing the road, so there was no choice in doing my lonely walks, not feeling her curled up beside me in our bed, no more warmth, no more fun, no more caring for each other, no living apart together, just apart. Reading it, it suddenly hurt. But I get it and I love the openness in the column. My misery should not be someone else's. Keep shining and sharing.
That's so sad Emiel! I feel your pain. I'm very aware of how lucky I am to still have a living breathing husband who has my back, even when we're apart. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and feelings.
This is such a cute cartoon! Every marriage looks different, and it’s so nice to see the different shades of it rather than one mythical template that’s supposedly been sanctioned by society, and social media now.
Oh how wonderful you are willing to bring this up. This happens more than you think. And no one should look the worse about because you are coming to realize yourself, which is the point of being, right? In my eyes, life is a balance among many things. It looks like you are trying to find that balance in your relationship. In fact I would say you are strengthening your relationship. If you find your new space making you happy, then the World is happier and when you do see or talk to your husband he will sense that and make him happy. Its a paradox, not living with the one you love, becoming who you both are, will be making you love each other much than if you didn't. Keep writing!!!
Voor wat het waard is, ook wettelijk gezien zit het goed. De verplichting tot samenwonen in het oude artikel 1:83 van het Burgerlijk Wetboek (BW) is sinds 2001 afgeschaft. Het is mooi dat dit is wat het is en dat jullie daar allebei vrede mee hebben. 🙌
Dank! Alleen in de stad Amsterdam is het nog verboden om als gehuwden op twee adressen (in A'dam) te wonen... kwamen we door schade en schande achter. Al heb je ruim 20 jaar inschrijftijd!
My partner and I sleep in separate beds. It started because after turning 50 he started snoring like a freight train and I'm a light sleeper. But the truth is, I sleep so much better on my own. He is also a Sailor, so he is away 50% of the time. I do look forward to the day that he can retire and be home more, but we also have really independent lives, and that works really well for us.
Everyone's relationship is different, but I mention these things coz they both took me a while to adjust to, and for the first little while, they both felt a little 'wrong'. But not any more.
Thank you!!! Especially for the bit about adjustment and it feeling 'wrong' at first. I guess we're all culturally conditioned to the picture of two happy spouses in one big bed, sharing every detail of their life. But things can work much better when you each have your own life, too.
Liefde is elkaar de tijd en ruimte geven om zichzelf te zijn. Volgens mi zitten jullie helemaal goed! Liefs!
Whatever works for you both.
♥️
This is a wonderful example, thank you for sharing it!
I used to travel a lot and I saw it this way. If a Jungle explorer and an Arctic explorer get married, they dont need to change, they attracted each other because of whom they are and what they love, there are many things they do in their individual explorations, many things they love that might not be a match, but there is this other important thing they want to do, spending time with someone special. So I see marriage as an intersection of two lives, two dreams, and its a wonderful thing to have (and explore).